When you confront someone about their cheating, you might find yourself at a crossroads. Itâ??s the â??He said, She saidâ? situation, and it can be a true problem for couples. He swears what he was doing wasnâ??t cheating, but you swear it was!
Which one of you is right?
The truth is, both of you might be right. The ideas of cheating vary wildly from person to person. Unless you and your partner sat down and established firm boundaries in your relationship, you might find a battle of differing opinions.
For instance, do you think talking on the phone with a member of the opposite sex is cheating? If your partner neglects to tell you about it, does that make it even worse? If your partner is having phone sex conversations with that person, is that cheating â?? even though they never touched?
One person might think it isnâ??t an affair until it has been physically consummated. Others believe even considering it constitutes an affair. A wife might believe sheâ??s not doing anything wrong by having dinner with that handsome colleague, but her husband might think otherwise.
What do you think? What is your definition of cheating?
Many people define it as cheating when body fluids are exchanged between two people. That includes making out, kissing, and full-on intercourse. That doesnâ??t take into account the emotional infidelity, however, and the things that can take away from a committed relationship.
A good rule of thumb is this: If you are doing something you canâ??t tell your partner, youâ??re doing something wrong.
The groundwork of an affair is laid in deception, and if you are doing something that requires you to lie to your partner or omit the truth, then youâ??re cheating!
It doesnâ??t matter if you think itâ??s innocent. Itâ??s what your partner believes that matters. So donâ??t let the question come up!
Sit down together and establish firm boundaries of what is right and what is wrong. Tell your partner what you expect of them, and listen to what they expect of you. When the time comes and youâ??re in a situation where you might be tempted to cheat, remember what your partner would think. Let that be your guide.
Once firm boundaries are established, you wonâ??t risk losing your partner over something you had no idea they would object to! Keep yourself safe by discussing what constitutes cheating BEFORE it has a chance to happen.
What does cheating mean to you?
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